The whole purpose of your first year of law school is, I think, like basic training. It is to break you down so that you are a soft pile of goo, ready to learn a completely different way of thinking. Sure, you don’t have to run ’til you puke or do push-ups, etc., but the stress and completely different way of learning has the same effect.

Your second year is to start putting the pieces of your first year into some sort of accessible order in your brain and to refine that knowledge. Think of it kind of like defragging your hard drive after installing a new OS.

Now in my third year, I realize that I have internalized this new way of thinking and it influences everything a read/hear/see now. I’m filling in the open spaces made by the defragging and I’m processing more, faster.

This is mostly a good thing, although it does make me odd company when I’m talking to people who are not lawyers or law students. People do look at me and tilt their heads like a confused dog sometimes. My better friends say, kindly, “How DO you THINK of this stuff?” when I go off about some weird legal possibility presented within their anecdote about what they did on vacation.

The scariest part of this?

I love it.

Being an older student, I’m already well aware that as one ages, the sensation of time shifts. When you’re 10, waiting 2 months for your 11th birthday is an eternity. When you’re 40, two months isn’t enough time to make a grocery list. So, as I speed through my first term as a 3L, I’m struck by how little time remains for me as a student. And it’s making me a bit testy.

See, I came to law school to learn. It’s not getting through it that takes first position in my head (although getting the JD is important, of course), it is getting as much information as possible in the process that really matters for me. I want to learn. And the students who have other priorities, well, they’re starting to get in my way.

A lot of students are like me and have an intellectual curiosity. It’s not like I’m a total weirdo in that. But the problem is that the students who are just trying to learn the minimum to get through and (hopefully) pass the bar, they tend to be rude in class when one of us asks a question that isn’t likely to be exam material. They start talking while the professor answers and clarifies what may be a detail unlikely to really matter on any essay, but which niggles at me because it makes the story of the case incomplete somehow. Rude. And frustrating because I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think it mattered in the understanding of the case as a whole. I’m not asking crazy questions here, just more detailed ones.

Don’t get me wrong– I hate it as much as the next student when some smug know-it-all student pontificates for 5 minutes on the “revelations of cultural hegemony expressed in the subtext of the opinion,” ending with “right?” as if that makes the soliloquy a question. That is not what I am doing and any student who does that makes me want to head-desk (or throttle) as much as anyone.

In fact, I probably hate it more than most students because it is wasting my time. Like I said at the beginning of this post, time is fleeting and I’m feeling it possibly more than other students. I don’t have much time left in school to learn and I want to make the most out of every minute of class time. So that means these jerks are taking time out of my learning!

At the same time, I’m going to use my time in class to learn as much as I can. I’m going to ask questions to learn and to check to see if I’m really internalizing the information. This is really important for me. If  a few other students don’t like it, tough. As long as the professors are okay with it (and I do check), then I’m going to keep asking.

Happily, the professors seem to appreciate my questions. After classes and via email, I’ve had several say so. That really helps and is something I very much like about CWSL– the professors are not stand-offish or haughty (okay, there may be one like that, but almost all aren’t). The professors, while they want to help us pass the bar, want us to learn the Law, cap L, more than anything. I’ll miss that when I graduate.

In the meantime, however, it’s faster pussycat, learn learn! for me.

A year ago, I was not a happy camper after grades came out. Now, I had extenuating circumstances for not doing as well as I wanted to (my marriage blew up a week before finals!), but the shock of not getting the numbers I wanted to get was harsh. I had never worked so hard in my life and not having that reflected in the final numbers, well, I felt embarrassed and like a bit of a failure. Then I went to class the next Monday, head down and grumpy, and, as my first class started, I realized what an ass I was being. Several of my classmates were gone.

I made it, they didn’t. What was I complaining about?!

That’s the true harsh reality of law school: the first year, even just the first term, is about making the cut.

So, to all the 1Ls who didn’t do as well as they liked the first term but who are still here, congratulations! (same to those of you who did great!) You made it past the first hurdle! You get to continue down this path, for a while yet at the very least. Take advantage of this opportunity. Work work work. And you can bring up those numbers (I certainly did!). You’re not “varsity” yet, but you’ve got a great shot at it. Keep at it and be happy even when it sucks.

Also, be kind to your friends who didn’t make it. They are embarrassed and angry and frustrated. It’s got to hurt something fierce to be in their shoes right now. And though they don’t feel it right off, things will work out for them as well. Humans learn through failure, much more than they do through success, so don’t be surprised if one of your classmates who didn’t make the cut ends up being the CEO who hires your firm later.

Yesterday, I got the chance to talk with one of my classmates whom I don’t usually see this term. He looked quite spiffy in his suit, having just come from his new clerking gig. Now, this guy is someone I knew, early on, was one of the brighter students and I expected him to flourish, but seeing him yesterday was still great. He was, from the first days of class, kind, funny, and smart–it’s a joy to see how he has grown into an almost-lawyer and I wasn’t surprised to hear he was clerking for the Federal Attorney’s office. Bravo.

This is one of the pleasures of law school: seeing your friends starting to fulfill their dreams and gaining the confidence that goes with that. And clearly CWSL is doing a good job with us since my friends are getting great clerkships like this (NB: I haven’t sought out any clerking positions since I’m following a different career path). Makes me rather proud of my friend, and the school.

So, I was already thinking about how things are changing when I got an email from the school, previewing an announcement that may (may!) affect the school significantly. It’s not a bad thing, I don’t think, but it is a big thing, a change. More information will be coming out soon and I don’t want to completely let the cat out of the bag, but let me float a question to those of you who are thinking about attending CWSL: would you rather go to a public school or a private one?

Changes are exciting, when you choose to look at them that way. Stay tuned…

Barring some spectacular fail last term, starting today, I am a 3L. That seems really impossible in some ways.

Perhaps some of this is a function of age, but my time here at CWSL has flown by. I was going through some papers over break, filing things and throwing out others, when I came across some of my earliest contacts with the school after admission. A postcard reminder for orientation, for example, and the student oath on a small card. They all got put into a special “keep” file, but they made me think about how, in some ways, it feels like yesterday that I excitedly took that oath.

I was terrified at the beginning. I think that I, like many people, kept waiting for someone to pull me out of a line to say “there’s been a mistake.” After so many years of dreaming about going to law school, it was finally happening. And like all good neurotics, I half (or more) expected something to go terribly wrong.

Instead, I got to go to classes and make friends and have my brains beaten down then rebuilt in the way only the first year of law school (and maybe the military) can. I noticed the change in how I thought, the processes, the way I approached problems. My complete intimidation by professors was quickly eased by their kindness and real interest in their students (mostly, there is always one it seems, and often your “one” won’t be the same as your friend’s). And I learned. Tons. And I loved it.

By summer term, I felt more at ease and capable and as I started taking courses that I thought would be good for what I want to do with my JD. I was pleased to find that I enjoyed those courses and so wasn’t making some colossal mistake in direction. Fall continued that. I learned more about business than I thought possible to shove into my brain, since I already knew a lot about it. And IP licensing.

Fall zipped by, although the workload at time was substantial and my bookbag weighed more than god on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Although there were some frustrations here and there, overall I was still loving being in law school. There was (and is!) so much to learn, and even the stuff I will likely never use professionally held intellectual interest. Before I knew it, I had taken my exams and was on holiday break, having completed my second year.

So here I am, in my first day of classes for my 3L year. 5 courses this term, with 4 exams, much like last term. The bookbag weighs a ton on Mondays and Wednesdays now, but the courses look to be mostly interesting (in spite of what someone said about Remedies).

I’ll be taking summer off so I should graduate next December, but in the meantime I am going to try to learn as much as I can, get more active in the legal community locally, and enjoy being a CWSL student.

CWSL has a pretty good record of feeding its “starving” law students. Today, the school is throwing a Winter Festival with a full lunch. A chance to take a few minutes to socialize before the exams hit.

This sort of event is one of the reasons I like this school. Its small size does make it feel more like a huge family than an institution.

Next week (or this week, depending on how you say it) is Thanksgiving. That means finals are practically upon us. Most law students see Thanksgiving not so much as a short break but as a stressful time where we have to tell our families that we need to study and can’t participate in the usual events.

This is hard for students, especially if their families are helping them out financially at all. We don’t want to be rude and most of us want to be with our kith and kin, but we also feel the stress of impending exams. So, here is my suggestion: if you are going to be with your family over the break, make some very clear, scheduled times for the family (and for yourself to just have fun) and enjoy them with no guilt; share your plans, your schedule, with your family and ask them to respect it; and regardless of what they do, you stick to it.

They’ll get over it and they’ll still love you, even if they are disappointed now.

And if they are unbearable and keep trying to get you to do more with them and interfere with your study plans, come back to your place here in SD early. You owe it to yourself to be just a bit “selfish” while you are in law school. It’s hard to let people down, but you have to put yourself first during these three years.

They will get over it and you will feel less stress because you’ll know you are actually taking care of yourself.

I’ve had a tough day today, but in my email box was a link from a friend who is not connected to law school or lawyering at all. She does, however, know a good laugh. Her timing could not have been better.

Here is what she sent: Holiday cards for lawyers. Number 5, the one about discovery, made me laugh hard. Pretty sure that is proof I’m fully indoctrinated now.

I grew up in a house full of creatives. My father, the attorney, and my mom split when I was very young, but even he was an actor before law school (arguably after too, ha!). I grew up painting and dancing and being in plays. When we made home movies, they were episodes of Lost in Space, not “our trip to Lake Erie.”

Professionally, I work with creatives. Commercial photographers, mostly, but I interact with lots of designers, art directors, and the like too.

Generally speaking, none of these people have highly functioning left brains. When I tell them I am learning things like how to read a balance sheet and calculate present values, their eyes glaze over in record time. But I know that all of this business stuff I am learning will help me to help them much, much more in the future.

Sure, there is some opportunity cost to all this, but I’m still convinced that the future value is worth it.

If you are thinking about doing transactional work, make sure to take Accounting for Lawyers, Biz Orgs, and Biz Planning as soon as you can. I’ve learned tons in these courses.

The MPRE is the first bit of the bar. It’s the Multistate Professional Responsibilities Exam. I take it on November 7th. I’m trying to study. I took Professional Responsibilities over the summer, so now is the time to get this out of the way. Hard to believe I’m already doing this, but time flies in law school. I’m already in my second term of my 2L life and will register for my first 3L term tomorrow.

Wow. Seems like yesterday that I started this adventure in some ways.

Anyway, there are lots of annoying little tricky bits on this test. For me, what bothers me the most, is that I think you should get credit for any answer that is right or better, not just what the rule states. I mean, it’s about ethics and responsibility, so if the rule says you have to do at least X, one should get credit for any answer that is X or even better, more ethical, than X. Sadly, that is not the case. So here I am, spending my “free” time doing flashcards and taking practice exams, trying to memorize things exactly.

My problem is that I hold myself to a higher level of ethics than required by the rules. I always have, in my own business. I don’t plan on being any less ethical when I am an attorney. That is not to say that the rules are full of smarmy bits– they’re not–but there are certain places where, for example, a lawyer must know X to do Y, for example, when I think just being reasonably certain of X is sufficient.  What can I say: I think it’s better to err on the side of doing right than making a buck. But to get the questions right, I have to know the rules as they are written. C’est la vie.

I won’t have much time next weekend to study, because my eldest brother and his wife are coming through town for a short visit during their cross-country odyssey. I haven’t seen them in over a year, so that will be nice. But it does cut into my study time for this just a bit. And Halloween partying.

Maybe.